27 April 2005

Hollywood foot in mouth disease

Another new feature here at TMSR (The Makaha surf Report) for the acronym challenged. It seems like actors and actresses in Hollywood have a congenital disease, they are always sticking their feet in their mouths and saying something bad about our great country or displaying their own lack of intelligence. So for the first installment, we'll call it a young actress triple play.

First and foremost, Eva Green the young French woman playing opposite Orlando Bloom in the Crusader Flick "Kingdom of Heaven" has some opinions about Americans critical thinking skills. In that left wing rag some people call the New York Times, Ms. Green said she hopes the movie wakes up us dumb Americans, in her words she hopes the movie will "make us more open and tolerant of the Arab people." She really said it, check it out here.

So Ms. Green I guess that whole 9/11 thing should be forgotten, right? I mean if only we were more open and tolerant like France we might have the peaceful lifestyle the French have with their muslims. Of course Ms. Green, if we were only more open and tolerant we too could have millions of angry unemployed muslims attacking people on the streets. Tell you what Eva just keep smiling that smile and looking pretty on the big screen and leave the politics to people that live in reality.

Next up we have Ms. Maggie Gyllenhaal who last week at the tribecas film festival made it clear she's been to the Sean Penn and Michael Moore School of American History. According to Ms. Gyllenhaal, we the United States caused 9/11. Don't believe me, check it out. So I guess with Ms. Gyllenhaal's deductive reasoning we can conclude the following; America caused 9/11, Saddam is just misunderstood, and Osama Bin Laden is really a kindly grandfather that the evil American government is trying to kill. I actually heard Ms. Gyllenhaal tell some people recently at a dinner party that it really was over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

And finally we have the Cameron Diaz/ Drew Barrymore double play of immense ignorance. According to CNS Diaz and Barrymore broke the moron barrier once only the domain of Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins in record time. A few of their insightful comments were:


  • Barrymore: Actress Drew Barrymore, who reportedly earns $15 million a film, told MTV viewers in one episode that after spending time in a primitive, electricity-free Chilean village, "I aspire to be like them more." Barrymore, apparently enthralled by the lack of a modern sanitary facilities, gleefully bragged, "I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome."

Hey Drew, I was "poo-ing" in a metal can we made out of an Iraqi oil drum for months at a time back in 2003. Awesome is one word I would not choose to assign to the experience. Unsanitary and Gross are closer to the truth. But I must remember don't have good judgement skills, you did date Tom Green.

  • Diaz: The 32-year-old Diaz, who earns a reported $20-million a movie, boasted that the cow-dung slathered walls of a Nepalese village hut were "beautiful" and "inspiring," and she called the primitive practice of "pounding mud" with sticks to construct a building foundation "the coolest thing." Diaz also criticized the lifestyles of many Americans after visiting an indigenous village in Chile. "It's kinda gotten out of hand how much convenience we think we need," she said

WOW , so a little fecal matter on the walls and you are right at home? Man girl, you are nasty. You know I really can't comment on this one, I'm just speechless. Cameron when you aren't dazzling me with your butt shaking skills in Charlies's Angels, you are showing off your private side when you talk about your love of feces covered dwellings.

That's all folks, I can't take anymore, and to think these people (minus Eva Green) are America's face to the world, and we wonder why they hate us.

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